A Roland for an Oliver ... not!

Double standards are a core element of life here. Someone is a Christian, goes to Church regularly for service and bible studies, to worship and honour God. Fine. You see that exact same person Saturday night around 11pm in a club, basically naked, grinding some random dude. Someone is married for 3 years, has a baby girl of 18 months and has been cheating on his wife for the past two years: commonly accepted. A married woman at a bar, even behaving modestly, no guy in sight: big deal. As a woman there are many things you cannot do. Well, let's say you could do them, but you will have to accept that everyone will run their mouth about you. And gossiping is one of the most favourite leisure activities around here ("Oh my god! Did you hear what this person did?").

Men do not really respect women in this country. They are an acquisition, and as soon as you are married, the woman is all yours. As a guy you can now go have your affairs, because that is the common thing to do, while you once in a while knock up your wife. Sunday in Church you show up with your "perfect little family", while everyone knows that you have done half of the choir chicks, while already married. As a woman you don't get much of a choice. Yes, you can get a divorce, but it's difficult and makes you look loose and inconsistent in the eyes of society. You could secretly decide to cheat on your husband as well, to pay him back (or get what he is not giving to you, attention, care, love), but it will be basically impossible, as your husband has a "right" to know where you are and what you are doing at all times. He might even send his friends and/or family over to check on you while he is at work (or at a hotel room spending the evening with someone else). Also, mostly you are dependent on the grace of your husband. He might just not allow you to get a job, so he can control you even more.

My auntie (she is actually just the person I stay with and she is about the same age as my mother, which automatically makes her my auntie) recently told me that she hopes that I will get married to a Nigerian and stay in the country. Whereas I might think about the latter, the former is not exactly in my plans, considering what I have observed so far.