No be small ting o.. at all.

Back from the crazy place called Lagos. It was an adventure, quite an intense experience. It started off with my fist trip in a keke, followed by crossing the express way to take a bus to the motorpark in kubwa. People were quite shocked to see an Oyinbo in a public bus, apparently I am supposed to take a limousine to wherever I go.

The trip to Lagos was crazy. 12 hours on a fair-plus minibus, squeezed in with 15 other people. Crazy overtaking adventures, huge potholes, endless go-slows, 450 roadblocks and police stops (and my bus had in oyinbo in there, so you can imagine how many times we were stopped). Our driver took us through the most remote villages where the roads are so bad that you cannot even stay on the road itself, but have to use the roadside ditch to not get stuck. It's a continuous change between 3 miles per hour trying to get through the potholes and 140 miles per hour, as soon as the road gets just a little better for a few (kilo-)meters, honking at whatever there is on the road, using any lane, overtaking any sort of vehicle in crazy and seriously dangerous maneuvers. In Nigeria, if you want to overtake, you just overtake. You don't go through all the hassle of checking whether there is enough space or any opposing traffic, you just overtake. Any vehicles coming from the other direction have to move out of your way. Period.

Lagos itself is crazy. It's loud and crowded and smelly. It's fascinating. Anything you need you can buy on the street. Basically everyone is trying to sell something. It looks like only 10 per cent of the people living in Lagos have a regular job that they have to attend. The remaining 90 per cent are either trying to sell you all sorts of stuff or engage in semi-legal to very illegal activities that keep them busy and provide at least some money once in a while. You find area boys, okada drivers, lawyers and bank staff, little kids with plastic bowls on their heads, credit sellers, beggers, security guards at every building. It is a very absorbing place.

I survived my final culture shock. Being introduced to someone's family here is not a simple and easy thing, it is a huge deal. It basically means that you have to meet everyone that is somehow connected to that family: friends, neighbours, your friend's daughter's grandchildren, etc. Also, do not ever object to anything that is said by someone who is older than you. You are not only being disrespectful and rude, you need to keep in mind that you don't know ANYTHING, so you better listen and obey. Life experience apparently teaches you everything you need to know, don't even try to reason scientifically.

Lagos is a dangerous place. Parts of town are locked up between 12 and 6 with several "gates", so no one can enter or leave, if it is not an emergency. Guards patrol the area during these times and you really do not want to be seen on the street, if you value your life as you might just get shot for "security reasons". On Sunday night we drove from Gbagada to Yaba, over the bridge connection the rest of Lagos to Victoria Island and we had to witness a really bad accident. Actually, we didn't witness the accident itself, but we had to drive around the human remains in the middle of the street. It is a dangerous place, in many ways.

On my way back (another endless tour with a minibus) I once again discovered one of the beauties of this country. Not only the beautiful landscape, red ground and endless areas of green, but the beautiful people. We stopped at a gas station and I was trying to follow a group of ladies to the bathroom. I jumped over a little wall to keep up with them, not considering that the ground on the other side was pure mud. I managed to slip and fall into the mud, being covered in it, facing another 7 hours on the bus. The second I fell everyone was being so understanding, caring, and sympathetic, it was touching. I think I got at least 4.000 "bele" and "sorry o"s from everyone. Someone showed me where to wash off the mud, and I was shown a room to change my clothes. I actually delayed the whole bus, something that under any other circumstance always gets people really angry, but after my mud episode everyone was being really sweet. I didn't even hurt myself, but I embarassed myself to death. Thank god I won't have to see anyone who witnessed my accident ever again.