The art of Nigerian timing

People here cannot be on time. Never. It's impossible. They are caught in a vicious cycle of being late and there just is no escape.

Just imagine the simple situation of a guy coming to pick up a girl. In my country, you would just say: "I ll be there at 5 to pick you up", and the girl would most probably be ready to go by then. Things are different here. First of all, people don't really give you a time, they just say "I ll come pick you up later today". Fine. So, because everyone expects the other person to be late, people take their time to not have to wait. It's a guessing game. Or rather, it is like chess. You pick a strategy, with the aim of not being the one waiting for the other person.

When my (girl)friends were picked up by their dates, they would not start getting ready before the guy actually calls to say "I m right outside!". That would be the time for them to get into the shower, start dressing up, putting on make-up. Meaning that it would at least take 30-45 minutes before they would be ready to go, while the guy "is waiting right outside". Well, when a guy tells you he is "right outside" he most probably isn't. Knowing that the girl he wants to pick up will not be ready anyways, he calls from whereever he is to tell you that he is "right outside". Mostly he is not ready either and still at home, or a 20 minutes drive away, but he is trying to make sure that once he gets there he doesn't have to wait for another 30 minutes. A friend of mine told me that I had no idea of what Nigerian girls put them through. I didn't. Now I do. On the other hand, guys aren't that much better. They might make you wait for hours before they finally decide to show up, and it's not a big deal. It's just how it is. Telling someone that you have been waiting for them doesn't really evoke any sort of apology. It's the way things are. Actually, I was told that I should be happy Nigerian time does not compare to Botswanian time. Apparently, as long as someone shows up the same day they are "on time". Here, you "only" wait for a couple of hours. Hmm.

To do justice though, some people do manage to be on time. My taxi driver who gets me to work in the mornings has been on time for two weeks straight now. He hasn't been late ever since, rather he once complained "Madam, 5 minutes past now", because I was the one coming out of the house 5 minutes late. I told him I was adjusting to Nigerian time. No be small thing o!